Not In A Good Place Right Now…

So today was my latest outpatients appointment to discuss the findings of my liver biopsy. And the upshot is that they still have no idea what is going on. Apparently the biopsy didn’t show what they expected based on the other tests. So it is going to be discussed in a Regional MDT meeting, and I have to wait. Wait for another two to three months.

And not drink. Still.

I’ve been struggling for a while, but I’d allowed my hopes to build a bit before this morning. And then the hammer fell again and I am not sure I can see positives in anything right now.

I don’t need alcohol. I have never needed alcohol. But I would like to go back to having the option. It’s a hot sunny day, I would love an ice cold lager.

More anything I miss the social side of it all.

Chatting to publicans and bar staff about the range on offer.

Catching up with brewers and finding out what their plans are.

And I miss hanging out with all of the great friends I have made through beer. I’ve tried doing it without drinking, and it’s fantastic to see people, but gallons of sparkling mineral water doesn’t quite cut it.

I want to be able to enjoy a glass of wine with a nice meal, and not have to rule out half of the menu because alcohol is a major ingredient.

The holiday was great, having to walk past some of my favourite bars not so much.

I’d just like to know what is going on so I can make long term decisions about my lifestyle.

I’d just like my life back.